Stages of Grieving

When a loved one dies, first and foremost, we must always remember it was their soul's choice. Births and deaths are always the choice of the soul, none other - not even God - for we all have free will. Free will is the greatest gift there is.

When a loved one dies, there are stages of grieving that must take place for us to heal:

1. Disbelief, shock, numbness
2. Denial
3. Anger and punishment - We get angry with the people around us. We have to blame someone for our loss. Quite often, we blame God.
4. Guilt and depression—the torture of “What if …” and “If only …”
5. Jealousy, anxiety, “Poor me”
6. Acceptance - I cannot change what has happened. I am changed forever. I will always love the person who has left.
7. Forgiveness, releasing, compassion, and healing

The final stage of grieving is the stage of soul evolution and maturity. This is the stage where you finally realize that all you have gone through happened for your greater good, no matter how hard it may have been. There is no punishment—only learning and evolution.

You heal when you have compassion for what caused a loved one to leave or the situation to change. Compassion is the first step in expanding love. You can never truly have compassion for anyone else until you have been through a similar situation yourself, thus the reason for the variety of experiences in life.

You heal when you can release all the people who have left you or caused you pain. You heal when you can ask forgiveness of anyone you may have hurt, intentionally or unintentionally. Forgiveness is the next step to expand love.

You heal when you can forgive yourself for anything you may have done to create the situation. Forgiveness of the self is the last and most difficult step to expand love. We must release our loved one so they can move onto the next step of their soul’s evolution.

You know you’ve healed when your heart is light and full of love for the person who left you or the situation that created change in your life. You know are healed when you are grateful for the lessons learned and the gifts received from the experience.